Although I sometimes joke about my multiple personalities and "the voices in my head", it dawned on me that this is more prevalent in people than one may initially believe. I think there are many masks that we wear in our private and public lives, and it's interesting trying to figure out where exactly the mask stops and the face begins - at what point do you really know someone else? Can one ever be sure that the person you are talking to is that person?

I often wear the mask of the fool, for reasons that are still unknown to me. I recently remarked it was a defense mechanism, and that seems the most logical (if ultimiately unsatisfying) hypothesis. At times when people are put off by this, I immediately am struck by how I wish I hadn't chosen to wear that mask, and how I should have instead acted "as I am" - no facades, just me. This is the point that the real me kicks in, and tends to take over - desperately trying to make up for whatever damage the mask caused.

Granted, this is somewhat frivolous, but what strikes me as more apparent is how people can seem to be perfectly normal and happy to other people, but on the inside can feel all sorts of strange emotions, from the depressed to the dark and brooding. What is it that forces us to wear a weak smile rather than express what we think about? Reminds me of a Beatles lyric:

Although I laugh and I act like a clown,
Beneath this mask, I am wearing a frown

Indeed! I myself have been just like that on a number of occasions. But sitting here and thinking about it now, I wonder whether it is better to keep the small things that make up feel a paler shade of white on the inside to ourselves, rather than dampen the spirits of others? My initial reaction is that such a thing is simple-minded, but who knows?

I don't think there can be a world without facades, or rather, such a world may not be that fun to live in. If everyone always spoke what was on their mind and acted in their normal way, it could be a much bleaker world than the one we currently live in ("Is it possible for it to get any bleaker?", I hear you ask). But still, less of it might be a good thing once in a while - otherwise, illusion and reality merge to form the twisted blur we always see in front of us..!

I do hope you'll excuse the heavy use of the word "mask", but I couldn't come up with any other colourful metaphors or similes, it's far too late for that sort of thing.