Monday, November 19, 2007
Haunting eyes struck me from across the bus, cutting through the pathetic overstated laughs that I feigned in hopes of avoiding his sight, in hopes of pretending that all was well. What I thought was a casual act of no consequence, I could see I grossly misestimated. I thought of exchanging another smile, to pretend as though nothing had happened, but I knew he would never forgive. How quickly his sweet face turned to anger and hate! It is too much for my heart to bear.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I should have known better than that, of course. The dimmed lights let them revel, but my eye only sought to find my role model. I found him, drink in one hand, the other jiggling loosely in a state of total inebriation. The only goal he had his sights on was shouting louder than the rest of those gathered. I felt a great sadness, but not as much surprise.
I am forced to wonder sometimes - could I have once turned out like these people strewn before me? A small huddle seemed requisite in the cold, though the drinks they had in hand more than made up for that. The alcohol fuelled every bawdy joke and fabrication that their minds held till that point. I could only sit back and wonder what I was doing in this world.
Friday, November 09, 2007
I could predict, when he attested to the lyrical qualities of the song, that it would end up revealing more about him than I had learnt in all the time we had spent curiously probing each other's pasts. "You've run so far and you still can't see", I think it went; something of the sort, anyway. His face had a sombre quality to it, and I could see the weight he attached to the lines. I thought of my pretensions and posturings, and smiled with genuine gratitude at being shown so pure an expression of appreciation. And while I did not forget the harrowing times we had because of each other, I knew that this was one moment which could not be denied.