Last night, there was a blackout. At the time, I was channel-surfing and had temporarily nested on the Imagine movie (about John Lennon). At the time it happened, Lennon was playing Imagine on a piano to his friends. It was kind of strange that the blackout should happen right then, I thought. I'm not quite sure why; perhaps I draw some metaphorical interpretation where there is none. Darkness descending right when someone dreams of a better world, as though smothering the prospect, that sort of thing. I suppose I just have an over-active sense of melodrama, and I revel in placing meaning on inherently meaningless things.

What's funny is that for a minute or so, I chose to sit in the darkness, and made no motion whatsoever to go to bed or figure out what was wrong. I have no idea what compels me to do this every time. Of course, there is the fact that it's pitch black and I cannot see a thing - there wasn't even the pale light of the moon in the room, 'twas as black as my heart as it were. But I think I also find some pleasure in sitting all alone, shrouded by darkness, for it makes me realize how strange we (mankind) are. Don't ask me why, I'm not sure myself, but there you have it.

All this talk about the dark reminds me of something very strange. I watched parts of In The Mouth Of Madness when I was much younger. I remember one scene where there is a group of children playing, and we can't see their faces. When Sam Neil's companion takes the ball away, one of the girls starts spouting some stuff about her being their mommy. Her face is that of a demon-child, with fangs and all, or so it is in the image in my head. I guess it spooked me at the time, for I think it has given me some deep-seated problems. F'rinstance, sometimes when I walk down the stairs in my house, I sort of get the feeling she's standing at the top of the stairs. It's peculiar, really, because I can't imagine how I could have such a specific association (because it doesn't seem to happen anywhere else). There is also the matter of why I think this girl is there, even when I haven't even watched the movie in its entirety, and that I probably saw it some 6 years ago. How did I get reminded of it?

And now that I've written this, I've got a bad vibe. Cue scary music as I uncover some evil secret. As though by talking about this, I've awoken evil, blah blah blah. I shouldn't watch horror movies, I'm obviously far more sensitive to their subject matter than I think.

Oh gosh, am I ever messed up!