I'm in the sort of mood where I feel like making life-changing decisions. Actually, not just decisions, but actions. Odds are, of course, that none of them will ever come to light, but I suppose that's the story of my life.

I'm always in the mood for remembering songs (kudos to any remarkable soul who can tell me the song name that's hiding in the previous paragraph!). I suppose now is as good time as any to reflect on some Bruce Springsteen:

I get up in the evening, and I ain’t got nothing to say
I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way
...
I check myself out in the mirror I wanna change my clothes my hair my face

A bit close to home, that one. Lately I haven't been too happy with a lot of things, but I won't bore you with them because, quite frankly, I'm not particularly happy at the direction this blog is taking. I seem to be talking too much about what happens in my personal life, which happens to be most uninteresting and not to mention most unsatisfying. I yearn for the holidays, where I was able to have pseudo-coherent and intelligent thoughts about various subjects that were, if nothing else, interesting (well, to me anyway).

I sometimes think that this blog is very much a selfish creation, in that I am only concerned with what I find interesting, and give no heed to what others think of the material. Is that a problem? Considering the decidedly low readership, probably not, but I don't think that's the issue here. It's the principle of the thing that makes me think whether I am a selfish person at heart. To which the answer would be yes. I am a conniving serpent, in that I only look out for myself but I try to project an altogether different image. You'd think this should bother me greatly, no? The thing is, I don't know that it does - all I feel is a sense of awareness, but I think I've truly become desensitized to the very many things that are wrong with me. Ah well, huzzah, the chase is on (a little bit of randomness introduced for your reading pleasure).

The last few days I suddenly remembered a song I heard probably 10 years ago, "What's Up" by Four Non Blondes. In particular, as I replay the lines

Twenty-five years of my life and still,
I'm trying to get up that great big hill of hope,
For a destination

in my head, I am amazed at the fact that I soon turn twenty, which puts me in the same ballpark as the singer's age (back then, at any rate). I must have been 8 years old when I heard that song, and to think back on it now makes me feel rather old. Of course, there's the fact that I can now sort of relate to the sentiment being expressed, whereas back then I was just taken by the catchy chorus (the ending is particularly delightful - it ought to be a blueprint for how every song should end). How quickly we grow up. Yet again, I sense this sending me into a spiral of nostalgia, so perhaps I'll leave the matter here.

Sigh, I don't have too many songs from my childhood, or at least not too many that I care to remember. I suppose that's what one gets for using MTV as one's music source! The song from your childhood phenomenon is one that I absolutely adore, which I suppose means that I've been trying to squeeze every last drop of my (relative) childhood and use it to its fullest.

I notice that I have an odd tendency to write things in a fairly haphazard manner. One may think that I am writing this towards the end of my post, but in fact I've only got a couple of paras written up so far; all I've done is planned for this one to go at the end. I find this quirky I suppose, which is good, because I can use all the quirkiness I can get.

And finally, gentle reader, some Woody Allen that I happened to come across sometime this morning: "You know, there's a word for people who think everyone is conspiring against them." "Yeah - perceptive!".

(If you're bored, spot the two references to King's Quest VI that are buried here. They're easily the most obscure references ever, but if you're that bored, well, better start memorizing the game dialogue!)