Friday, October 29, 2004

I hate the word 'wimp', or rather the feelings associated with that word. I don't know why I felt like posting this, but I feel like I must. I might elaborate on this later, but it is quite touchy for me, so probably not. Let's just leave it at this meaningless, random post, shall we?

Actually, this isn't quite meaningless garbage - I mean, it is, at least in any normal sense I suppose, but I try to convey how I feel with some of these posts. And right now, my mind is quite scattered and messed up and what have you, so I think that stream-of-consciousness rambles like this are good for the soul. Yes, this writing style is quite deliberate; I'm not shunning conventions or what have you, I'm just in no mood to spend anytime creating my usual lush sentence structure (good to see I haven't lost the ability to drip with sarcasm though, eh?).

I have the rare ability to pick the worst time to listen to music. Such as when I'm getting sick. Whenever I'm sick, I tend to lose all control over my mind, and as a result the infernal jukebox in my head plays 24/7, repeating the same songs over and over and over...of course, it isn't quite as bad as it could be, after all if the music were as visceral as, say, one of my poems, then I would be in for one heck of a trip, but thankfully most of what I listen to is fairly decent (by my standards, of course, which makes it a truism). I can still remember listening to Graceland a few days before my trials, where I had the unfortunate luck of catching the flu. So as I jumped from bed to books, I would constantly have some of the songs playing in my head. Time, thankfully, has healed these wounds, and so the album doesn't suffer from over-listening (which would be a complete and utter shame).

I truly feel insane right now. To give you some idea, after watching TV for a mere 10 minutes, I lost all grip with reality and was amazed at how "life-like" real-life is. If that makes no sense, then my work here is done. I suppose this is the right mood for writing some beat-inspired poetry. Something like

Muse muse, every man must choose
Gamblers and bakers, all with no shoes

But that's just plain unsatisfying, not to mention nonsensical.

6 comments:

Jenny said...

I hate the word coward. probably because I'm utterly convinced that I am.

you're sick? T__T 'get well soon' is pretty useless to say, I've realised. I mean, it's sort of like saying "grow older as the years pass by"..

insanity is either very meaningless, or more meaningful than one can appreciate while remaining sane.. it seems. I think it's time for me to go back to some good old insanity too

*goes insane*

AKM said...

"I hate the word coward. probably because I'm utterly convinced that I am.

I have a bit of a cold, but I feel miserable as a result of it. So 'tis more a sickness of the mind than anything else.

"'get well soon' is pretty useless to say, I've realised. I mean, it's sort of like saying "grow older as the years pass by"

I hope you aren't serious. It's the sentiment that counts, not the literal meaning of it. You're wishing someone the strength and luck to get better soon, since you care that they are in discomfort because of their illness. So not saying "get well soon" is a bit silly, I think.

Jenny said...

I hope you aren't serious. It's the sentiment that counts, not the literal meaning of it. You're wishing someone the strength and luck to get better soon, since you care that they are in discomfort because of their illness. So not saying "get well soon" is a bit silly, I think.

hmm, you're right, I'm sorry for not mentioning so as well, dear aditya. I know that you have the strength to get better soon, and hope that your luck will influence the speed of your recovery too. I care very much about your discomfort and would take your place if I could but I can't so all I can do is be the pretentious twat that I am and wrote poems for you.

indeed, here's the one I wrote when I read

I can remember
That moments never die
When I notice a small smile
Blossoming on your lips
Because then, for a moment
I can forget.
~

I can forget
That people want to cry
When the words you write dance brightly
Filling my world with wit
And that's when, in an instant
I can remember.

*pause* *sob* but now you'll hate me more because I not only parroted your structure, I parroted your rhythm and rhyme and first and last lines..

*runs away to punish herself for being so horrible to aditya*

AKM said...

Jenny, I know you don't want me to be in discomfort, so I wasn't chiding you or anything, I was just mentioning that it didn't seem to be very reasonable to think "get well soon" was useless. I wasn't at all implying that I was offended you didn't say "get well soon" either, for me personally as long as I know the intent is there, it's good enough for me.

"*pause* *sob* but now you'll hate me more because I not only parroted your structure, I parroted your rhythm and rhyme and first and last lines.."

It's impossible for me to hate you any more than I already do. But aside from that, I don't particularly mind you lifting my writings, they're not very good in the first place. Although, I haven't seen anyone else take so much inspiration from another's writing to the extent of borrowing all elements of its style ;) I presume it's a case of writer's block?

Jenny said...

It's impossible for me to hate you any more than I already do.
o.o *pause* T__T

But aside from that, I don't particularly mind you lifting my writings, they're not very good in the first place.
O.O oh dear, I definitely won't do so again.

Although, I haven't seen anyone else take so much inspiration from another's writing to the extent of borrowing all elements of its style ;)
neither have I. although, I'm not joking o.o

I presume it's a case of writer's block?
it's a case of intense admiration beyond reason.

*pause* if I give it a little more thought than usual *cough* as in, if I give it any thought, I think I admire your writing because I admire you.

I'm sorry dear aditya, don't worry, next year I'll be in second year too, and then I won't be so silly and immature.. ^_^

AKM said...

"It's impossible for me to hate you any more than I already do.
o.o *pause* T__T"

'Twas a joke, m'lady.

"it's a case of intense admiration beyond reason"

Hmm ok. I don't know what to say to this. Keep it up...!?

"*pause* if I give it a little more thought than usual *cough* as in, if I give it any thought, I think I admire your writing because I admire you"

That's truly, truly tragic, you do realize. Or something. Actually, it isn't really, maybe it's good that you keep saying you admire me. In fact, why shouldn't people admire me, after all, I surreptitously lift other people's works and claim them as my own, but then when another does the same, only opnely, I raise my eyebrows. What a classy character I am.

"I'm sorry dear aditya, don't worry, next year I'll be in second year too, and then I won't be so silly and immature"

Wow, Jenny in second year, now that will be a sight to behold.