The smile

It seems like everytime I see you, you find some cause for laughter. It probably isn't fair to do so, but I do end up concluding that it's something about me. Heck, strike probably - it is unfair, yet if it happens once more, well, my dear, I'm afraid I will feel all the more certain about this matter. Things almost got to this stage, you know. One night, I was thinking about all of this over dinner. I wondered whether it was to do with the fact that I never was friendly to K. I dismissed the thought, but then I started thinking about K. Why was it that I never said hello, again? My mind was wandering, and you slowly began to fade into the background. But you were making your exit as the villain, as some cruel vixen finding pleasure in whatever fault it is you saw in me. For a moment, maybe two, what I felt for you was as close to hate as one can get. Hate forged out of mere speculation, maybe, but I never claimed to be fair.

I remember sitting there forlorn and watching the door. As you came in, I began to frown. "Here we go again", I started to say. Dark clouds were building up in my head, and I almost felt irate enough to take some actual action. Fancy laughing at me, after all. It all seemed poised for a confrontation. As if I would take one of those images in my head and put them into action. Maybe if I asked you straight what was so amusing, it wouldn't seem funny anymore. No more fading into the background for me, I said, for now is the time to act.

But then you smiled. Damn, what a smile. You could dismantle an army with that.