It seems so cruel whenever an idealisation is shattered. I think sometimes that I enjoy lumping people into neat little boxes. That's a terrible thing of course, but I wonder if they'd mind the way I do it. S was always the model of the typical carefree, take-it-easy lad with the perfect outlook on life. Of course, he is still that way, but now some other parts of him have surfaced. All it took was an innocuous comment, and all of a sudden I find myself writing this.
You know what I like? I like looking back at moments like this and trying to piece together my state of mind. There is nothing to speak of! The words he spoke echoed a couple of times, and thereon in it sort of fell out of mind.
If you are wondering what he did, it is nothing out of the ordinary. The only reason it is becoming the focus of this little cloud-puff is that it broke up the box that I had made for him. Almost like the moment a child throws away the present you have bought for him! It was as if his essence walked up to mine, punched it in the gut, and said "You don't know me!". (If one were to follow this up, I wonder why his essence would act so. After all, this box was known only to me, and it's not like it was a bad box. Hey, if someone put me in the box, I'd be happy!).
So what is S now? The same guy he's always been I suppose, except to me he is no longer an idealization. Shame, ain't it? Like I said, he is still that carefree-boy, and I am still me, except I now have a punch in the gut.
* Terrible title - 'tis a strange song title, which is a bit too raw for me to include here. Why this popped into my head, well I don't know.
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