Scaling is beyond me; it can be disgusting, but at the same time overly welcome. Lord knows how it can convert not attempting half an exam into a result supposedly reserved for an upper-echelon of performances. The motivation for such contradictory statements from me is of course the completion of another semester where I feared that I would near-fail a subject, given my atrocious examination performance, but then, through the magic of scaling, finding myself far better off than I deserve, so much so that the only appropriate reaction was a maniacal laugh followed by a shrug of the shoulders. There is a brief celebration on my part on receiving the "good news" (of not failing), but in such cases, it creates a somewhat hollow feeling, probably because I am acutely aware that I don't deserve most of the marks. It is downright worrying; my latest endeavour saw me spending no less than three-quarters of an hour staring blankly at the exam, not knowing what to do. Taking into consideration the fact that I also didn't put any effort into the subject the day before, I came out expecting the worst, seeing signs where they didn't exist (I thought that I was going to be punished for fixating on one of the lecturer's trademark phrases, mostly in a genial fashion, but sometimes with an air of derision). It is therefore a bittersweet "victory", one which nonetheless raises doubts as to whether I've really taken a new, restrained approach to matters.

I'm coming to the end of the structured examinations, so maybe next semester is the last opportunity to play this oh-so-amusing game of worrying for three weeks followed by shaking your head in disbelief for three hours.