So did she agree? Hah. Of course not. I must say that despite all my rough talk about my fundamental worthlessness, my actions betray a rather different sense of the self -- one laughably inflated in the other direction. It's why I now find myself feeling undone, where my past writings might suggest a complete lack of surprise to be the only logical response. I suppose I was one up on myself with those self-portraits dripping of deprecation and despair; that's clearly a much more honest picture of myself, at least, in how I am viewed by the outside world. What do I expect from a lifetime of sitting in the corner, avoiding eye contact, and going out of my away to shy away from any non-superficial interaction? It's only reasonable that my pathetic attempts at reaching out are seen as what they likely are, a last ditch attempt at grace by someone who doesn't seem to realise that he was damned a long time ago. So I hold no ill will. Thankfully, my little corner of the universe remains faithful to me. There's room enough here for me to spend the rest of my time, fading away bit by bit, day by day.