Friday, October 14, 2005

I was standing about nervously, shifting from side to side, taking deep breaths every minute. It felt as though my mind was physically blocked, and I really can't remember if I was worrying about anything in particular; it was more a fear of this invisible, looming notion, really. But hey, enough of that, that's all nonsense anyway.

By comparison, he was standing mostly calmly by my side, and was actually whistling out loud. Nervous for me? Hardly! Maybe it was just him trying to put me at ease, but I think he genuinely did not feel any anxiety. "How many of these has he seen!?!", I wondered. He said he been doing it twelve years, but it never really struck me at the time at how long it really was. I couldn't imagine it, going through the mechanics of something that must seem so obvious, so fundamental to him, day-in and day-out.

I noticed he then looked into his notebook, seeing where he had to go next. I saw names filling the entire page, for the whole week. I immediately felt very sad; as though I could see that once I had finished this, and the celebrations were done, he would have to leave, and go to another student. And so it goes!

But no, I said, no, there is more to it than that. This peak shall live on. It's nice to have the ability now to say that the success I achieved was just for him. I probably wasn't thinking of him when I got told I made it, but I'd like to posthumously dedicate it to him. After all, I really couldn't have done it without him.

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