To begin by asking whether I exist on a different plane is rarely a good sign. But sometimes...how else can I put it. I find myself capable of what one could call the ability to abstract, but it's only in the things that count; that is, life and people. I am triggered by words, phrases, a certain look that reveals pure innocence in contrast to a world consumed by noise and ambiguity. These lead me to uncharted moods where I can almost imagine what is happening in another heart, where I can sense its consonance to the spirals of my own mind. By understanding just one person outside the self, even if for a moment, all of mankind appears illuminated. And what a beautiful sight it is.

He had to slink away from the board as the instructor, rather indifferently, pointed out that it was pretty much all wrong. He just made a deferential smile and walked back to his seat, but not before something in the whole scene really got to me. I don't really know why his face, with its mildly embarassed expression, left such a strong impression. It was more than pathos, I am fairly sure. It conjured up a history of a life, so beautiful and simple, and suggested so much innocence and naivety that I felt it validated some of my intangible theories about existence and meaning.

Naturally, I cannot explain what these notions are, precisely, but my intuition tells me they are important. I am grateful to have moments like this that suggest something a careless eye might not see. While my impressions of them may be obviously rooted in an impossible world of fantasy, I assure you their resonance is very much real.

There is a slow, charming Morrissey song that goes by the name "The Lazy Sunbathers", which tells the tale of people oblivious to the world around them, instead thinking only about how best to soak up the sun. Your situation was almost the reverse, right down to the commentator - he had nothing near the gentle understanding that Morrisey brings. No, this new narrator treated the matter with an acidic laugh and a mocking imitation, one which I suppose he thought I'd find amusing. The source of this entertainment was the most minor of acts, a gas mask to protect against fumes that we were clearly told about. It should go without saying that I did not find your caution in the face of a potential disaster at all odd. I could read your concerns, and was confident that your actions were from a pragmatic nonchalance, and nothing more.

As you walked past my window, mask neatly placed and most indiscreet amongst your calm features, I thought again of the secret insult he shared with me. I felt as though the world was too impossibly cruel, but also felt a surging sense of pride and hope in your confidence - I could sense an inspiring degree of indifference to whatever he said. My heart mixed with feelings of sympathy and gratitude, I only wished that I could have offered an embrace that suggested both. Yes, I know that you would care for neither of these things, but I will not retract my intent - let it be known that I would have gladly played the part of the fool, were it required. Respect though I now possess for you, ultimately, I only desire that the universe see just who it is I am.

My dear lady, please do not waste the breath the Lord gives us all; no, let it never even cross your mind to come see us again.