Can someone be so scared of facing reality that they just watch as every opportunity passes by? Evidently, yes. These writings are proof of that. Not that I know who exactly is writing this, because these cannot be my thoughts. Haven't I convinced myself that, fundamentally, I don't care for humanity? Then why is every other second spent in thought of one particular human?

Perhaps there is something to reincarnation after all. I know I am damaged, but how can that explain the entirety of my experience? The thought that all these years of suffering could be the result of a deeper, more elemental sin that I have committed, is vaguely comforting. It could be that I am meant to proceed with this belief, and convince the Spirit of its place in my universe. Or it could just be another of increasingly disturbing delusions. And destroying a life other than my own is a step too far.