Why do I find myself constantly on edge, in battle with my mind? Because if I lose that fight, I have no guarantees anymore. Every second could be the last spent in everyday reality. I had a moment today where I glimpsed into the counterlife that waits patiently, as my resolve was slowly weakened and I considered revealing my thoughts to the unwitting companion of that hour. Fortunately, I succeeded in suppression, because who knows what would have happened had I succumbed? None would be spared the terror and beauty of what I have seen. Images and words from lives that did not happen, songs and voices that the world can never hear.