Friday, August 31, 2012

The biggest lie

Just a glimpse, from a distance, and I lose whatever grasp of time I used to think I have. Walking by myself on the way back, humming a tune to keep me company, I think that the feeling of that moment is all I need. Looking back now on such moments' scattered appearances through my life, I'm of course aware of the almost comic nature of my actions, or lack thereof. I don't doubt that I will find myself with a host of regrets that can match any spiritual compatriot, and the thought does sadden me. At the same time, part of me thinks: what does it all matter, anyway? While other paths may bring a richer, deeper experience, in my eyes at least I have seen a larger hand at play, and have received joy from it. If it were to take me from this world the second my eyes fell down, I wouldn't feel robbed of anything. When it comes to you, what hurts the most is that I must instead walk on, knowing that each time I look back, the longer it is that I will find what I am seeking.

2 comments:

SwellTide said...

Whoever you are, you should keep writing.

AKM said...

Thanks for the kind words! I've found myself writing less over the years, as the blog archives indicate. But ever so often, the smallest of things triggers the itch and I find myself back here. Calling them moments of inspiration gives the results more credit than they deserve, but whatever these moments are, I don't expect they will stop :-)