A strange experience - the phrase "of course" just caused me to slip into deja vu. Weird or what?

Thanks to WikiPedia (a brilliant site, incidentally) I've found out that backmasking in songs is quite common and that the nature of the phoentic makeup of English means that it's very easy to hear anything backwards as "Satan"; this would provide an explanation for the famous Stairway To Heaven backmasking issue (playing it backwards, you are supposedly able to hear "Here's to my sweet Satan"). Nothing particularly important, of course, but I always felt that there had to be some nice logical explanation of the matter - it was a bit strange to think those wacky Zep boys would want to do something like that.

Having a clean design makes you want to post stuff, but invariably I realize that there isn't that much to say. A shame, really!

I love it when you have flashes where you are for an instant transported, for all intents and purposes, to another dimension in your head. I doubt that's the right way to express what I mean - what I mean is a total sense of detachment from reality, a total lack of the reminder that one does exist in this physical world, so to speak. There is of course the question of whether alternate dimensions exist; perhaps reality is but a projection of our own mind, a dimension that has arbitrarily been chosen by us to be the one true dimension. Even more enjoyable is the reminder that we're stuck here, which is usually greeted with a brief sense of dismay and confusion. A totally random example I experienced a couple of days back was staring at a maths question and then coming back to reality, only to wonder just what in God's name all those x's and y's mean.

It's good sometimes to have this happen to you, if only because it helps put things in broader perspective. It's easy to get caught in the fine details of a matter without comprehending what it all means. Why the perpetual search for meaning? An interesting point. I suppose the fact that humans are blessed with the ability to think and reason automatically implies a desire for knowledge and the rules of logic and rationality to be followed. Hence we always try to make sense of things by analyzing the rationale and figuring out why they are the way they are. Then again, it's probably just us scientists (and those crazy philosophers) who think this way. Not that I'm a scientist, of course - a poor mixture of a mediocre mathematician and an even worse computer scientist.

Blogging spree today! I guess it's because I've given up on life and decided to seek refuge in the taste of strawberries. Did that make sense? I'm guessing it didn't, which is not good because now I've become one of those silly bloggers. And that's not what this blog is about, no sir!

Have you looked at the Unreal 3 tech demo? Amazing. It's catching up with SFX in the movies I tell you. Soon perhaps we won't be able to tell fantasy from reality. And then I will rule the world, because that's something I've become familiar with over the last 20 years.

I spend a fair bit of time scouring other blogs, trying to find something that's interesting, but most seem to fall into two categories. First you have the serious reading ones, usually related to politics, that I just don't have the attention span to read. Perhaps I am seeking to be entertained from these blogs? I can't imagine how a blog would entertain me, but anyway, the second kind is the personal "let me tell you everything that happened in my day" blog, which is ultimately unreadable because well, usually, it's just not that interesting. Come to think of it there are lots more types of blogs, but I like ill informed generalizations. Plus, I like saying that my blog is the missing link, the hallowed third type of blog that's about nothing yet is at the same time a wealth of information on life's mysteries. That makes me delusional, doesn't it?

A new look for the blog, but sadly one that is probably being used as we speak by millions of other people from all around the world. But I am confident that you, my devoted fan, will continue to read this blog to see how low I can go before pronouncing that I am the winged angel of death. Speaking of angels with wings who happen to bring death, this is the funniest thing I've read, possibly ever (paraphrased from a blog): "I'm so tired now. I just want the winged angel of death to come and take my life away". It takes genius to come up with stuff like that. I don't know whether it deserves applause or a few death-metal riffs. Not that there's any difference, right? I mean I could mistake death-metal riffs for applause if I were particularly tired, and I'm sure you could too.

It's interesting to think that everyone else feels as unmovitated and just flat-out tired as I do when it comes to studying nowadays. It's not that the topics are largely uninteresting, it's a general lack of gumption for some reason. I don't think I've ever really gotten used to the uni style of learning, which is of course a bad thing. I don't know, it all seems so confusing right now, far worse than it was during even the most stressful points of high school.

Ah well, stuff it.

What have we descended to? The events of the past few weeks are very disturbing. The culmination of a surreal set of events, and one that makes me confident there is no hope for humanity. We are doomed.

If we are to ignore the conspiracy theorists, Saddam was a tyrant who performed atrocities against his people, but does that justify a war? A war where 20,000 civilians die? 20,000. They're just numbers, no? I can't imagine it, 20,000 people with lives, stories, family. 20,000 people with a consciousness much like my own, all dead. 20,000. Wow. And for what?

But of course, sometimes you need war to bring about peace, right? What about Hitler? Was WW2 justified then? Surely the civilian casualties there were overshadowed by the evil that was stopped?

Or do the "you can't place a value on a human life" arguments hold? "Life, woman, is God's most precious gift, and no principle, no matter how glorious, may justify the taking of it". Isn't that just hiding behind pretty prose? An intellectual approach that doesn't hold in the real world? I don't know, probably.

But of course, you have to ask, was war the only way out? Was there not another way? I truly don't know. Perhaps war was the only option if Saddam was to be removed. Perhaps diplomatic channels were all doomed to failure. I don't know.

And if the war was justified, are the US any better than Saddam? But the abuses are not indicative of the whole US army. Yet the growing number of reports suggests a fundamental lack of preparation and comprehension of the seriousness of war (something I don't presume to have). There doesn't seem to be a moral centre anymore, it's a free-for-all. Maybe the war makes you crazy. Kill enough people and you can't tell friend from foe.

"Who cares?", asked a US soldier. Indeed. I wonder.

Does Berg's horrific killing overshadow the abuse? Surely abuse is one thing and murder another. But the abuse held particular shame due to the culture over there. And yet, murder is murder is murder. It is understandable that the abuse would be reacted to unfavourably. But murder is a sickening retaliation. But what if it's the only way they'll learn? But it's murder.

Questions, too many questions, and no answers. Perhaps both sides are right. Or perhaps the truth lies in between. Whatever. To hell with reason and logic, I've had enough.

I want to read the history books of tomorrow.

I don't think I've ever been as obsessed with a game as I was with Ultima Online. Amazingly enough, I've never once experienced such a level of addiction (then again, there was the one day Diablo marathon, but with UO it was a sustained addiction) - I used to have dreams about the game, for chrissake! I like things like that, which you have a bittersweet memory of, but will always remain in your mind - not necessarily something that you exactly cherish, but it's just something that's there. It's not like I remember too much of the game - I vaguely remember party members like Golian Nigh (Knight? Night?) and Mystic (sweet 10 year old, or so she claimed!), but everything else is pretty much a blur. Yet the legend lives on!

It's interesting actually that other games which have had me stuck at the computer for whole weeks at a stretch haven't managed to have the same effect on me. Perhaps that was my first exposure to a truly addictive game? I was largely a fledgling RPG player back then, so that is plausible (considering how most RPGs are unbelievably addictive!).

What's simply remarkable about this blog is that it manages to capture thoughts and feelings that, although being a couple of months old, I have long forgotten. Reminiscing over the entries before the start of uni, I simply can't imagine being back in that situation again. And yet it wasn't that long ago at all! I suppose in another two months I'll think the exact same thing, reading over this entry, trying to place myself back in this period of time..what an ephemeral existence we lead.

Systems analysis (not to mention its good friend, systems design) is surely the creation of the devil himself. I bet you anything the person who invented it made it up as some sick, twisted joke. "So Ashwin, what do you have for us today?" "Actually yaar imagine some person making up all these funny diagrams that annoy you really badly and show you how stupid you are and how bad you are at being a systems analyst" "What the heck are you talking about? You're one messed up @!#*&" "Hah. My Egyptian God card will show you". That got very silly very fast. But I like that Ashwin guy.

And that ends today's rant, children. Stay tuned for more hilarious tales of me failing all my units next week!